(this post is for my Sister to read and help me out:))
Okay.. if i had to pick one word for myself right now it would have to be.. Indecisive.
It all began with his letter. Jeron sent me a letter explaining his 5 year plan. I just wanted to get an idea of what he wanted to do with his life.
Well.. he is leaning toward Border Patrol or a Police Officer. DANGEROUS!! that is all i can think of. I would move anywhere in the world to be with the man of my dreams but why something so dangerous? Am i suppose to raise a family where there are drug lords all over? It is dangerous... very dangerous. I have lost too many people in my life.
Now of course, i am not telling him any of this. He is doing the lords work, and i am trying to not distract him. It is just making me rethink things.
I love him. I would be soooo very happy with him. I would even move away from my family for him to make him happy.
I have decided that i need to live my life during these 1.5 years. (it has already been 6 months YAY) I can't be afraid of hurting someone else to make myself happy. If Mr. Right comes around i don't want to turn him down because i could make it with Jeron. I have lived these past 6 months afraid to flirt. Afraid that i was going to start liking someone else. I was really afraid of hurting peoples feelings. and really really afraid that i was going to hurt myself. It's life. If Jeron and I don't work out then so be it... there is something greater in store for me!
So introducing.. the NEW Stephanie Stohel. I am going to a singles ward, and going to be looking so fine. I am going to laugh and flirt. I will be cautious though. My heart is very big, and i don't want it to fall into the wrong hands. With a little of Faith and prayer i will end up where i am suppose to. I will make mistakes. I have accepted that Jeron is maturing, and i need to build myself up and learn for myself and grow before i am ready to move onto the next stage of my life.. (marriage)
Jen what are your thoughts?
Well.. anyone.. what are your thoughts?
2 comments:
Wow Steph! I'm really proud of you. I wondered why you weren't dating. I knew you really liked Jeron but I didn't realize you liked him that much. I had a missionary--long story I will tell you sometime. I was also married before Bryce. Not that I'm an expert but I FULLY believe that you need to follow your heart and make sure the LORD is directing you and not your emotions or your hopes. I REALLY thought that I was doing the right thing when I married Ian. I really did. I had a very strong question voiced to me in the Temple and ignored it. I learned a lot from that first marriage and I wouldn't take it back but I would NEVER in my life want someone to go thru that pain.
My SIL's family is from Mexico. She is an American. She's white and she's from the Mormon colonies there. Her family is scared to live in Mexico. Her dad has a guard. They're even friends with the drug lord's next to them BUT that doesn't mean your safe. As for the Police Officer thing. Bryce wants to be a fireman. Not my favorite choice of job but I will support him in what he wants to do.
I would take this 1.5 years that you have left. FIND STEPHANIE. Find what makes you happy. Find what you WANT with life. Grow closer to the Lord (you know Jeron is). Have a friendship with our Heavenly Father that's deep and well rooted so that when your potential marriage partner comes around (or comes home) you will be ready and you will know without a shadow of a doubt he's the one.
Most importantly HAVE FUN.
Dear Steph ... how honored I feel to have you write a post specifically for MY advice!
As you know, I had a missionary too! Garrit and I dated for 2.5 years before he left on a mission. I loved him and he adored me. I know that I would have been happy with him.
But I had to live my life while he was gone. I have heard of so many people that lose themselves because they are waiting for their missionary. Then, when the missionary comes back they are at different spots and not right for each other anymore. How SAD!
So what I did, was enjoy myself. I went to school. I lived my life. I had crushes. That's ok! (I still have crushes ... it's natural. Human. I mean ... CHUCK ... HELLO!!!) I just happened to get a crush on a cute red head. AND look how awesome it turned out!
Not it is very possible that my cute red head wouldn't have come along, Garrit would have come home, and I would be happy ... (just with slightly lesser cute kids! hehe).
What I think you need to do, as Cortney said, was to be YOU. Work on your goals. Go to school, go to church, make goals and achieve them. (by doing this, the time will probably pass even faster!) Date. Flirt. Don't lose yourself. Because it's yourself that people love, and if you lose it ..... what else will you have? Someone might come along ... be open to it! HE might be the right one. He might not, but if he isn't he will help point you in the right direction.
Just make sure you are happy. Right now, that's all that matters.
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