Thursday, October 21, 2010

let me just fill you in...

on what has happened over the last couple months.
I made a choice to come home from Snow College and attend Salt Lake Community College. I wanted to do this so that i could have a job so that i could pay for school. This job is as an Assistant Manager at Famous Footwear. It is definitely a love/hate relationship. It has it's ups and downs, but in this day i am grateful to have such a good paying job.
I also decided to move in with one of my really good friends, Rebecca Kennedy. I don't always get along with her even though i act like we are peachy. (that is just my personality, i hide my emotions) Our other friend moved in with us and her name is Lexi Davis. She is a sweetheart and a thug from Maryland. Ha. She is an inspiration to me, and gives me such good advice. It is bittersweet to say that after praying that i find myself wanting to move back home. Yes, i will miss my cute apartment and roomies. Yes, my brother will annoy me. But in all honestly i love being with my family. I find them supportive, fun and funny. The biggest bonus is that i get to save 250 dollars a month to go toward school. It just feels right.
Since being back in the Salt Lake Valley i haven't quite found my place at a singles ward. I went to one in Sandy for a bit, and just didn't quite fit in. I tried to impress the people there and just didn't like who i was, and they didn't quite except me like i had hoped. I was just that random girl who showed up with Becca and Heydon.
I started to like my singles ward in Murray, but Becca has chosen to go to the Sandy one. I am not quite able to go to church by  myself. I went to my Family ward, and LOVED IT!! I got to go to Relief Society and felt like i belonged with the 30 plus age group. This cute Sister Nelson was just cracking jokes with me and i got to be with my mom. I also got to sit next to my dad in sacrament meeting, and hear him sing. I love that too. I love my dad..(side note ha ha) I also really want to teach primary. I love children! I hope choosing to go to a family ward is what is best. I was talking to my mom about how i have never really felt accepted at a singles ward, and she said that is how she became inactive. I never want to get to that point. I am following my heart, and that is leading me to the Eastridge 8th ward!!
A big part in my life right now is Mr. Elder Jeron Cannon. I broke up with Jeron right before i left Snow. I don't regret doing that because it helped me grow. Breaking up killed me, and probably killed Jeron five times. We went on dates all through out the summer. I have never had such a fun summer. The moment that i realized that i am falling hard for this guy was when we went to Texas Roadhouse. My thought at this point was that i was just going to be a support system when Jeron leaves on his mission. I thought it was going to be easy to let him go, and that i would more than likely find someone else while he was gone. Well, standing in a crowded room waiting to be seated changed everything. I realized that he was going to be gone in a month. I seriously started to cry in the middle of Texas Roadhouse. I hugged him, and butterflies were going crazy and i knew that i was really starting to love this kid. I didn't ever want to let him go.
That last month before he left was one of the happiest times of my life! We went on dates, he brought me dinner at work and we constantly were talking (sorry to Jeron's parents for the texting phone bill) We were down to a week, and i have never cried so much!! When it was the last day i was going to see him, i just let him hold me in his arms, and we both cried! I barely could drive home because i was crying so hard. I got home, layed in bed and bawled. I never thought it was going to be this hard. I never thought i cared about him so much until that last month of being together.
Jeron is my best friend and i am having a "blast" writing him. We have a very honest relationship. (i just don't tell him about dates or cute guys i see) I told him that i am not waiting, and if i start liking someone i am not going to turn them down just because of jeron. I am going to live my life. It's just right now i could care less if i date anyone else. I feel like the person i want is in Texas. I am glad Jeron has chosen to go on a mission. He is inspiring me to be a better person. He gets upset when i have to work and can't go to church. ha ha He is growing into a man, and i love watching it. He is such a caring person and will give his leg to you if you ask him for it. I can tell him anything, and i tell him everything. He is my best friend. Keep up the hard work Jer-bear!!
I Love my family. I love my sister. She is always there for me even when sometimes we make the other upset. ( i do that to her more than she does to me) I love her and is an awesome example
I have learned alot these past months.
-i want to teach kindergarten
-Be who you want to be. it doesn't matter what others think
-follow your heart
-Heavenly Father is just a kneel away
-My family is my best friend
-Laugh,
-crying is very good therapy
-life doesn't always go where you expect it to go.

Wow that was a long post.. but had to catch up :)


adios!! have a good night!!

1 comment:

Bouchizzle said...

I think you are great.